What Not to Wear on a First Date
So you’ve finally gotten around to asking that girl or guy out on a date and you really want to make a good impression, what should you choose to wear?
This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out Vans Shoes trainers. I own only a couple of crumpled old shirts, last worn at a funeral and a court appearance, a really old, threadbare suit that smells funny and a pair of army marching boots. So I was wracking my brains. Should I go shopping or could I blag some decent gear from someone?
So I called in to see an old friend who suggested that I might borrow some of his fancy designer gear. The problem was size, I am a small and he is enormous. All of his beautiful designer wear was simply far too big for me. I looked like a lad who’d been trying on his dads suits. I decided to call on another friend who is closer to my size.
My good old friend Kenny is about my size and owns a huge collection of clothes. The problem is that Kenny, a flamboyant gay, has a taste for exceptionally garish colors that look like high visibility safety clothing. He suggested that I wear a pair of his skin tight, bright green stretch trousers along with a bright orange t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan ‘Hello Big Boy’. I didn’t think that this would create the impression I was aiming for so I asked if he had anything else.
Kenny excitedly said that he had just the thing. A white, all in one jump suit adorned with rhinestones and sequins. I asked Kenny if he was really serious and he told me that this was his lucky suit. I tried it on but it made me look like an Elvis impersonator so this was another non-starter.
Then Kenny showed me another selection of clothes that he described as boring impulse buys that he had never actually worn. When I looked inside I could see that these items were far more suitable than the nasty dayglo stuff that he’d shown me so far. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. He had a huge heap of excellent jeans from the likes of Levis and Diesel and a bale of shirts that were all contenders for a good night out.
So my good buddy Kenny really helped me out with a nice outfit that really impressed my date and resulted in her coming home with me, but that is another story. Since then I’ve been out and bought myself some new clothes and treated my friend Kenny to another painfully bright, tasteless t-shirt, just the way he likes them.
Tags: shopping malls in UK, shopping directory, Market Place Shopping Center department stores, shopping market place, General Growth Properties
Written by admin on October 21st, 2009 with
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